Life is delicate, fragile, and indeterminate. We have some assumptions about life that lead to profound sadness when we find we are wrong. We believe life continues for 8 - 10 decades. We believe that youth is a pathway to old age. We believe that healthy bodies can overcome all kinds of injury and illness. We believe that the mind should be able to conquer all negative thoughts. And yet, the fiber that is life can break at any time, in countless ways.
In contrast, love is layered, tough, and lasts as long as we desire. We may grow to dislike someone, but deep in our memories, we can find the love we had. Love can change forms. It ranges from admiration and sharing to complicated emotions. Love is a shape-shifter that can adjust to situations, people and even memories. Love is a fiber that weaves itself into a fabric that enfolds each person.
Love is positive. When love hurts, we have only to take a few steps to grab a more suitable kind of love. When we find the kind of love that is most appropriate, we can use it to renew ourselves and our friendships. We can use love to counter hate, misfortune, poverty, inequities and even, after a long time, grief.
When someone dies, we eventually learn to pour our love into the memories we have of that person. It is our comfort and it endures. Life can suddenly shatter. Love never completely shatters. Whether or not we choose to believe in life beyond death, we know for certain that there is love beyond life. We do not stop loving when someone dies.
The best thing we can do, when we have come through deep mourning, is to take love and direct it toward a better family, neighborhood, community, or world.
